We were so glad to hear from Elyse. It had been several days since we had talked. She had just received notice from headquarters that she was to cover two additional counties during this crisis, due to cutbacks. She already felt overloaded with six counties of coverage and struggled to think how she could accomplish more. Loving her job and the people she works with, she would not be one to fight it…she would simply buckle down to accomplish the task.
Meghan on the other hand is SEEKING more work. Homemaking, homeschooling, part time nursing and the nurture of four daughters under the age of 12 leaves her wanting more??? It fascinates me! Yet, I am thrilled that both of our daughters LOVE their chosen professions. Both professions are in service to the sick, the needy, the struggling. That fills my heart with joy. I do admit, however, that I frequently find myself worrying that their load is too heavy. This is one area where I have had to learn to remain silent to allow my daughters to create the life they desire, the life they feel that God is calling them to…not the life that I could endure. We are very different women and that is as God intended it.
I, on the other hand, rather than looking for more work, find myself grieving a lack of bonding with my granddaughters. Reaching a point of deep concern that these opportunities will never again return, I planned bedtime stories and prayer with the two little ones. The agreement was that they would call when they were ready to go to bed, Mommy’s phone in hand. My intention was to read a book to both using FaceTime, showing each page as we read. We would then have prayers and a kiss goodnite. That was the plan!
For Kate (7 years old), the plan was perfect! With each page of pictures she entered further into the imaginary world, in spite of the rambunctious actions of her 6 year old sibling. Lily could not keep still, running back and forth between Mommy and the FaceTime visit. I never felt that she had engaged. In fact, I doubted that this was going to be a successful solution for bonding with Lily. Both girls said beautiful prayers and Grandma was able to pray a blessing over both…yet something was missing. Perhaps it was the back rub. Maybe the kiss goodnight. Maybe the warm hug as I tucked them in. I will never know if they felt the loss. All I know is that it was missing for me. And that is significant!
The good news is that Costco now has TP! It was worth the trip just to verify the rumor. John and I have always enjoyed trips to Costco. We had prepared ourselves, however, that it might be a little less fun during this season of fear and isolation. There would be no samples given and social distancing was vital. While John filled the car with gasoline at a great price of $ 1.39/gallon, I began in earnest to accomplish the quickest shopping trip to Costco on the books. To my delight, I was met at the inner door with a lovely smile and a wet wipe with which to wash down my cart. How lovely! Especially the smile!
Costco did indeed have toilet paper. The store had done a remarkable job of organizing to meet the increased needs of a concerned population. Each customer was limited to only one bundle pack of each brand of TP, Charmin and Costco’s own brand, Kirkland. Grabbing one of each, I tried very hard to conceal the competitive tension I felt within. Perfectly relaxed − or so I thought − I calmly placed the TP bundles in my cart and moved on to see what else was limited for purchase. How fascinating to see how ‘demand’ so easily translates into ‘need’ within one’s mind and spirit! If others are grabbing it, just maybe I need it too! Fascinating! I successfully moved past several items that had been limited, without taking even one. The fact that I have never used those items in my lifetime, had nothing to do with it!… It was a victory in my personal sense of self discipline!