Prayers were fervent during Meghan’s entire first day on the COVID ICU unit. My prayers focused on keeping her safe and praying that Meghan was doing everything that SHE could do to keep the virus at bay. Thankfully, by noon, I woke up to the reality of my frail efforts! I was asking God to do what I THOUGHT He needed to do to keep her safe.
The Great Physician, Himself, was totally able to take care of Meghan, with or without the help of protective PPE. While He wants us to take care of our bodies as best we can, He doesn’t even need daily supplements to keep us healthy. Over the span of Meg’s first day of COVID 19 nursing, my prayers changed dramatically in substance. I had been praying so selfishly for her protection in the midst of… I was now becoming deeply convicted of the fact that there are many more important issues that I needed to focus on other than her safety and protection. Possibly most significant would be to focus on the ways the Lord could use this experience to stretch Meghan and to strengthen her own personal faith. My prayers should also focus on Meg’s ability to use her gifts, skills and abilities to bless the overwhelmed, the very sick and the dying in their time of despair.
“Lord, use her love and her joy in you to touch the tired, the frightened, the sick, the dying. Let them see YOU in her…through all that protective garb. You can take care of her…even if she succumbs to the virus. You can heal, you can wipe out the virus with one holy breath. Let her light shine in that dark place and use her for Your honor and glory.”
In this first day of prayer, this mother came to realize that Meghan’s health, wholeness, illness or possible death, were in her sovereign Lord’s hands. There was absolutely nothing I could do to increase the likelihood that she would not get sick.
Meghan was created by her God with a purpose to fulfill. On the day she was born, her God knew the day He would take her home to be with him and HOW he would take her home to be with Him. Her life is not about staying safe and whole, but is about fulfilling the purposes for which she was created. My God and her God would lead and guide her through the challenging hours walking through this valley…each frightening shift in the COVID ICU that lay ahead of her.
At 10 am, Palm Sunday morning, John and I listened to online worship services from our church. Then, shortly after noon, we called Lyse to see how she was doing. She had a good night with no drenching fevers. She took her temp while we were on the phone and it was 97.5 degrees. Thank You Lord! Her most significant symptom was tremendous achiness and cough when she lay down. Thankfully, she had no difficulty breathing today.
Voicing a determination to get her linens changed and washed today, she conceded that she was weak as a puppy. I encouraged that she take it one step at a time, resting between the wash and drying cycles of mattress pad, sheets, etc. I wanted so to be there to help.
At 12:25 pm, my phone ‘ding’d’ with a text from Meghan, on lunch break at the hospital. She could not have pleased us more. It was reassuring to note that her loving sarcasm had not diminished in the midst of the challenges of COVID nursing.
Meg: “STATUS UPDATE: Going well here. Honestly doing alot of standing around because they have lots of hands at this point. Gearing up for chaos. 19 patients, had one other pass away just as I was getting here this morning I’m kind of a ‘runner’ for the primary nurses so they don’t have to take off PPE when they need something for patient care. I helped rotate a 400 lb woman, 38 y/o and not doing well at all. And did post mortem care on the one who passed away. Staff is super worn out and stressed already. That might be the scariest part of it all!”
Me: “Praying for you! Sooooooo appreciate the update!
Meg: “I figured.”
Me: “Fully gowned with PPE?”
Meg: “Nah- they don’t have enough for me.”
Me: “ U R a BRAT! Really…does your hospital have all needed equipment?”
Meg: “ I think so far they’re OK. They’re just putting tight restrictions on what we have.”
It was now early afternoon and already this had been an emotionally exhausting day. Both chicks had checked in and I could not have been more grateful for their updates. While our fast of broth and clear liquids filled the empty stomach cavity, our prayers continued throughout the day. In the midst of my deep concerns, God granted peace and the ability to get something done.
First and foremost, God encouraged me to come to grips with my own control issues as they pertain to our precious daughters. I came to see that He has control over all that might stand in the way of His purposes…the bugs, the virus, the proper use of PPE, the protection of a precious family. He has ultimate control. Our responsibility— to fearlessly embrace every opportunity to show His love to this dark world in every creative way we can find.
Yes, Meghan might get sick — and Lyse might yet get SICKER! But even THAT is in His control. Our responsibility: to embrace His hand and walk boldly into our world to make a difference in any way we can…even walking through the valley, knowing that we are under His wings.
One more thing was accomplished in this day.…I began the sewing of two masks for John and for me to wear when needed. They looked so simple when I watched the tube videos. After one major remake, we were good to go, doing our part to abide by the CDC recommendations.