Illumination

This road is dark and long, Lord, and I am tired.

The journey is lonely, empty, 

Filled with the monotony of sameness and the frustration of progress unattained, 

Bodily functions determining the pulse and progress of each new dawn.  

This prison of love and commitment demands my unquestioned faithfulness, 

Yet, I question, 

Each completed day holding only the promise of another tomorrow. 

The road is dark and long, Lord, and I am tired.

I hear no trumpet fanfare to impassion my step, 

No cheers of adulation for the committed, 

No crown of glory to the faithful warrior in the battlefield of the infirmed.

I had longed to be obedient to your call; to fulfill all that your plan destined.

Still, the road is long and I struggle to perceive the balm of blessing, 

Your response to my obedience, my impetus to carry on.

The road is dark and long, Lord, and I am tired.

How I long to comprehend the master plan, for You do naught in pointless disarray.

I struggle to perceive earthly benefit, divine logic, redemptive victory, eternal glory:

The intricacies of Your dealings with all lives touched by this drama.

What am I to learn from this journey?  Do You wish my own soul to shake?

Choreographer of my life, teach me, that I may dance for Your glory.

Teach me.  Yet, end not this journey one step short of fulfillment: 

The lesson learned, the rough edge smoothed, the sin exposed, the will submitted.

The road is dark and long, Lord, and I am tired.

Open my eyes that I may perceive the light of Your presence, 

A beacon of Life to illuminate my dark and lonely way.  

Ah, ’tis as You promised,  

You were there, through storm and gale, through frustration and doubt. 

‘Twas my burden that blocked my view as I sank beneath the weighty load. 

With eyes of love and a knowing smile, my burden is lifted, 

Now borne on shoulders that control the galaxies. 

I am refreshed and restored, emboldened to take the next step and the next, 

As we journey together, weary pilgrim and Divine Companion. 

The road is long, Lord.

I recall Your own dark road of obedient faithfulness.

As we journey together, my hand urgently grasping Yours, 

You lead on through the darkness. 

Nail scars imprint the sweaty palm of my clutching hand, proof of Your agony.

I am reminded that You have walked this road before, 

Alone.

I walk in silence, reeling from the shame of pondered revelation,

My journey and my burden embraced with renewed perspective as 

I experience a glimpse of the valley of the shadow once endured for me.

I journey on, transformed, enlightened, empowered, renewed,

Yet never, never alone.

by Sondra Brunsting