An Impassioned Delete

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My secret was out.  The disgust in my Granddaughters’ voices cut me to the core!

“Grandma, how can you have 11,603 messages in your INBOX?”

“ I have lots of friends,’ I quipped—impressing them NOT. AT. ALL. !  

My husband, John, joined the chide, “Maybe that’s why our internet seems so slow.  Our poor computer is choking to death!  You want some help weeding those out?”

The shock on my granddaughters’ faces evoked a vague measure of shame.  Seemingly everyone else could manage their email messages.  Why couldn’t I? Have I truly become an email hoarder? The blunt truth: my INBOX has become ‘dangerously obese’, struggling to maintain thousands of emails, the great majority of them ‘unread’.  

Now, don’t get me wrong― I LOVE to get personal emails, especially updates from dear friends.  My disgruntlement is focused totally on the commercial takeover of our emails and the blatant entry into our personal lives. Those often unsolicited postings have become a burden, a cumbersome weight around my neck — undesired postings breeding in the darkest, deepest webs in cyberspace, exponentially multiplying during the night.

The curious reality, I rationalize, is that in spite of my gross neglect, there is not one personal email that I have missed or not read!  At least, I think—but,  can I really be sure?  

What IS my problem?  What garish mind game handicaps my dealing with a simple daily challenge?

Why do I struggle so to push that delete button? Yes, I do love coupons and the thrill of the sale.  Yes, I’m a sucker for online learning— information free at your fingertips.  I simply have no time to deal with it right now.  Today.  Tomorrow.  This week.

Denied first priority attention, ignored messages sit on my desktop and multiply in defiance. When the delete button calls me to action, my fingers freeze as I consider the value of the coupon, the lure of the sale, the need for the information, the treasure of the note from one I don’t want to lose track of.  And I struggle, to put it mildly.

VACATION: a string of days with no obligatory commitments — the perfect opportunity to shed the disgusting accumulation of email bloat.  Time to reckon with my self assessed critique of being a ‘Techno Sloth’.

My endeavor began at 8:30 am on a Monday morning.  

I had learned over the years that the easiest way to delete emails was to sort all messages according to FROM, (who had sent the message).  In that mode, scores of the irrelevant could be deleted in minutes. At the top of the list, Bed, Bath and Beyond presented a seemingly endless train of messages, some from the year 2019! Yes, they offer prized coupons which, in the past, had no expiration date.  Today, however, a coupon from 2019 is worthless!  Thankfully, they could be deleted in minutes.  Why on earth had I kept so many of these? 

Next, came the Bed, Bath and Beyond CYBER Monday coupons, BB&B the Clearance, BB&B the Deals and BB&B New Mailer—all lovingly sent due to my past purchases at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Accumulating the entire batch, I press delete, only to be asked if I was sure that I wanted to delete all 225 items.  ABSOLUTELY!  With a swoosh, they were gone, never to return.  Whew.  That was easy!  Yet, that INBOX number jeered a bit at me, still overindulged at 11,378.  I was going to have to find a rhythm here.  This is excruciating!  Maybe, I need a new tactic.

I scrolled to the end of my messages, no small task.  Perhaps I should work from the Z’s backward, allowing me to feel the sense of progress as emails tumble off my tally.  I would force myself to deal with each category, deleting, categorizing to a SAVE or, if absolutely necessary, a FILE.  That worked well as I flew through all retail categories, until I came to batches of medical info.  Balking a bit, I swallowed hard.  These included tidbits of info that I wanted to keep and learn from:  Newest Keto recipes, Dr. Gundry’s favorite cookies, Dr. Axe’s recipe for decadent Brownies.  These were treasures and I wanted them for my own!  Still, where was I to keep them for future indulging?

By 9:57 am, I was surprised to find that I had progressed from the Z’s to the P’s, backwards!  Sounds impressive, yet my INBOX total had only diminished to a mere 10,374 messages.  Protect your Heart, Protect your family, Prostate 911, Poop Health: all things I might need one day!!  Do I delete or not??  In one fell swoop, I deleted some 200 plus pesky sales pitches that I had minimal interest in and certainly never signed up for !

Meandering through the middle of the alphabet, I occasionally found myself myself escaping into the sentimental world of yesterday—a photo, a name, a letter, too precious to erase, though totally misplaced until unearthed among the superfluous.  For a moment, I am transported to another time and reality, fully embraced in a rekindled emotion.  I find myself smiling, affirmed that this tedious task is well worth the struggle as lost treasures are rediscovered.  Joying in the pure delights of sentiment, time hangs suspended as I distract from the task at hand. Regretfully, however, I am lurched back to reality by a computer glitch.  It is 10:32 a.m. and an attempt to print an old photo seemed to be choking the system, 9812 emails still as yet to be addressed.

Next up on the docket, some 450 messages from my husband, John.  We have lived together for 53 years.  Why the need for email?  I found myself a bit annoyed for a moment until I pondered a bittersweet thought.  How treasured each one of these pesky emails would be to me should the Lord take John home and I no longer enjoyed his presence each day.  Finding that thought a bit repulsive, I scooped up all spousal emails, created a mailbox labeled ‘John’ and placed all in it, a ‘mixed blessing’ to be carefully sorted through at a future date. Now, at least,  they would not weigh down my desktop. My INBOX number diminished by a significant 450, bringing my total to 9872.

Next up—some 327 emails that I had sent to myself— items of various significance, many treasures. Fearing I would be slowed by the sludge of the ‘wade-through’, my JOHN box beckoned. I added all 327 for later sort and purge, keeping it all in the family! 

I began wading through some 794 prayer messages from our church.  Each was a reminder of prayer concern for church family and friends. All had been kept as sacred reminders to pray for those in need. I found myself struggling to delete those holy reminders of God’s faithfulness.  Somehow a record needed to remain.  I wanted NOT to forget.  But 794??  Conflicted, my urgent need for self discipline nudged me to move forward.  With a prayer of concern and thanksgiving, I wiped the slate clean.

Craft lover that I am, I was energized to delete a mere 813 messages from Michaels Craft Store.  Occasionally, I found the computer choking.  “It’s like it get’s tired and it won’t delete anymore,” I muttered in exasperation drawing my husband into the experience.  

I heard a faint snicker in response from the next room. “Don’t forget to UNSUBSCRIBE as you delete those you have no interest in,” he reminded, mid snicker.

By 12:42 pm. my INBOX had slimmed down to a mere 2,571 emails and I considered taking a break.  First, however, a large grouping of BULLETPROOF emails had to go. Yes, I loved the product, and certainly wanted their coupon benefits.  In one swoop, I deleted 650 pesky cyber squatters.  Now lunch, with a mere 1,257 emails to go! As I stood, my legs felt numb and throbbed.  I’d been sitting for 4 1/2 hours without a break.  All circulation had been cut off.  Hobbling to grab a bite, I felt every bit of my 73 years.

Thru the early afternoon, I joyed in a continually diminishing INBOX tally.  By 6:43 pm. the remarkable #27 caught my gaze.  I was approaching the land of the acceptable, the appropriate, the reasonable.  No longer would my Granddaughters have reason to gape in horror!  However, as screen after screen after screen of emails claimed INBOX status, I realized numbers were not adding up. There were many more than 27 emails left in that INBOX! Disappointment shrouded my shoulders like a heavy black shawl on a sticky hot day.

It was several minutes before I figured out that next to the INBOX of 27 messages was another treasure trove of 453 FLAGGED messages!  I was devastated!  It might as well have been a million.  All had at one time been significant enough to flag.  Granted, many were flagged a mere four years ago!  Techno-savvy that I am NOT, it took me another 43 minutes to figure out that I had to UNflag a message before I could categorize or delete it.

It was not until 1:42 pm, the NEXT day, that my FLAGGED total was 0 and my INBOX numbered 7.  Granted, I interspersed sleep, several outings, a lovely afternoon of reading lakeside and a 2 mile walk, not to mention meals and phone calls to family.  The task had been accomplished.  And I truly did feel a bit lighter, though my shoulders and legs screamed for mercy.  There was a measure of satisfaction that I had accomplished a major goal.

At my stage of life, it is very important to ask one significant question.  What have I learned in the process? 

Perhaps most significantly, I feel more in control of all that takes up ‘my space’.  While I may not always have control of who obtains my email address, I don’t have to let them take up residence in my little corner of cyberspace.  In the future, I choose to daily delete those things that I am not interested in.  I will immediately file those items worth saving.  They will NOT be accumulated.

Further more, I have learned that :

• Coupons expire.  Sales end.  DELETE!
• Treat treasures like treasures.  Don’t lose them in the clutter of retail greed! 
• An overabundant INBOX is a sign of lack self discipline and laziness
• An every day assessment is vital! Like unwanted pounds, those undesired emails collect can increase when you least expect it!  Stay vigilant!

I can do this!  I WILL do this! Lord, please HELP ME do this!!  July 2022

 

Post Script Update~In honest and complete disclosure, I humbly confess that today, October 7, 2022, My INBOX total is 1456 emails.  I have nothing more to say.